24th: GRATEFUL. THANKFUL. BLESSED.

Last night, before I fell asleep, I thank God for this another year. After that, I said a little more thank you's and some prayers. Without me knowing, it's already past 6 in the morning. I woke up so early because of a too good to be true dream; a dream that answers almost all of the prayers and wishes I whispered last night. Then I told myself, "Si Lord talaga, walang kupas." I rushed to the bathroom to prepare for this long day.

While riding a jeepney, the man beside me handed me a piece of paper then he said, "Wala yang bayad, libre lang." I looked on that paper he is giving me then I saw a bible verse. Without hesitation, I grabbed it and read it (feeling ko, message ni Lord sakin yun for this day). It felt good when I saw the man smiling while I am reading it. Again, I told myself, "Lord, thank You for reminding me that though I am a sinner, You are still here to make me feel loved specially on this day."

Going back to the house and opening my laptop, I saw a lot of messages, tweets, and posts greeting me a happy and blessed birthday. Once again, I told myself, "Thank you, Lord, for these people who love me despite my weaknesses and flaws. Simple greetings are more than enough to make this day special to me."

Truly, things that cannot be seen are more than all the material things in this world. On my 24th year, I must say that I feel more blessed knowing that I have people who truly loves me. With the overflowing love and happiness I am receiving, I don't think I need to ask for more. 

Lord, again and again, thank you for continuously reminding me of the things I should do. Thank you for your constant love and (quick) answers whenever I pray. Above all, thank you for this not-so-perfect yet wonderful life you have given me and for making me live it with a purpose. 

To all who remembered my birthday, thank you! Please know that those greetings are all appreciated. Thank you to all who texted (ooops, my smart number's temporarily not active), called, posted and sent messages on facebook, twitted, and of course, to those who greeted me personally. You're all the reason why I want this life to be lived well. 

From my heart to yours, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! :)

Lord, You are my Healer

Today, I am alone here in our house because I am sick since Friday. Thinking that I may not able to attend a mass later afternoon, I decided to find a Sunday TV Mass. At first, I wasn't able to find one. Maybe because I woke up at 8:00 am and it may be late for Sunday masses so I decided to just watch this dog feature at Solar News Channel. Lucky enough, after the program I was watching, a Sunday Mass started. 

The mass began and I watched and listened like the usual thing that I do every Sunday. The homily was about learning to choose between good and evil. The priest said that each of us must live like a lotus that lives in a dirty place but when its flower blooms, it is still pure white. 

Before the mass ended, the priest gave a short prayer to those watching from home. I close my eyes and just listened. He prayed for those who are suffering because of typhoon Glenda, those whose hearts are broken, and those who are sick. I prayed simultaneously with him. I called God and asked Him to heal me and my father completely. Suddenly, I felt like someone hugged me. There's this different warmth that I felt and then my tears run down. 

I don't know if it is just because I am sick or what but I want to believe it's God who hugged me to let me know that I am now healed. I am so glad that today, I had even a second physical encounter with Him. 

I believe that He is always listening to us, especially to our deepest prayers because He never failed to answer me. Indeed, Lord, You are my Healer, my Savior, my Father. Thank you for your unending love.

    Your loving daughter,

It's been 6 months

It's been months since I've posted something 'from me.' I know, this blog site has been my outlet for the past year, this is where I share my sadness and happiness, and this is where I open who the real 'ME' is. 

Flashback October 2010 when I started to write it all again. I promised myself not to stop writing and blogging because it is where I feel so free. I can write whatever I want and do any blog posts that I can because I own the blog site. I can shout all my sadness and happiness just by writing what's inside my heart. Yes, 'WHAT'S INSIDE MY HEART.' 

Fast forward to second week of May 2011 when my heart was really down. This blog became my outlet. I put all the pain into words to help me (at least). And yes, it did... for a while.

A bit jump to last week of May 2011 when another painful (most painful of all as of the moment) thing happened in my life. I don't know what to do. During that time, I don't know how to put all the pain in words. I promised myself that I will not stop writing because it is an effective way to lessen the pain (next to talking with those people who can understand you) but during that time, I can't. I really don't know where and how to start. I really don't know how. Even talking to anyone became none of my choices. And yes, I faced it all ALONE.

Facing things alone is not so me. It is not me who doesn't share my thoughts. It is not me who wants to cry alone. It is not me who wants to hide my true feelings from my loved ones. Yes, I do hide some things at times when I know I can manage. But during that time, I know I can't bear it all but I HAVE TO.

I have to hide all the pain from everyone because I have a decision to make. It is always good to ask for others opinion but in that case, I don't want to ask anything from anyone. I want the answer to my questions be answered by me, without any judge but myself I don't want any person to support nor rebutt my decision. I want to reflect and this time, make my own decision. It was one of the hardest point in my life and I HAVE TO BE STRONG.

I have to be strong not for myself but for the people around me. I must admit, I don't want to be anybody's burden so I told myself that I can make it. Anyway, I have God who is always with me so I am still not alone. 

What's making all things harder is that I am jobless during that phase of my life. Meaning, I have all the time to cry and feel bad. And I guess it wasn't good so I then planned to find a job. I have to be busy for me not to think of sad thoughts. I know it will be hard to work while on that stage but I have to because I don't want to cry the whole day. Luckily, I found one and that helped me.

Slowly, I felt that the wounds are being healed. Slowly, I have answered those questions in my mind. Slowly, I have made my decision which cannot be broken by anyone. Slowly, i opened up with my friends and loved ones. Slowly, I feel free again.

Fast forward today. I am writing and doing this blog because I think I am (though not totally) ready to share what's in 'me' now. I cannot tell all in a detailed manner because there are some things that are already healed and must not be opened again, but this may be a good start. 

It's been 6 months and I guess I have made the right decision. As what I am always saying, HAPPINESS IS OUR CHOICE. What happened was not my choice but it's my choice on how am I going to face it. It is always up to us on how we will react when hard times happen.

For me, I decided to close the door, reflect, and forgive first before making any decision. People may not understand me for choosing to be with myself during those times but real friends will not ask any question and will just support me (and they did). I choose to cry not to be drowned in sadness but to let the pain out and I succeed. Now, I can feel the freedom that I want. 

It's been 6 months, almost, I guess, and now I am ready to choose happiness over sadness. Now I am ready to share 'myself' again. 

To my friends, family, and to the people who never judged me and my decision, 

A BIG THANK YOU! 

Life, thank you for all the lessons. Keep it coming for me to learn more. 

Lord, thank You because You let me understand how right it is to hold on to You more during the hard times.

Love, I will continue to share you with others and will never get tired of doing it.

      xoxo

hello busy June :)

It's already June 11 and yet I haven't posted anything. Sorry for this. haha! I have a lot to post but can't find time. For now, though late, let me just greet you my traditional way of welcoming the month. 

Let me welcome this month which is full of blessings (Thank you, Lord!) with this:

I promise to blog as soon as I can. I just have to adjust to my new life first. 

     xoxo

My 1st Year in Broadcore

MARCH 29, 2010 when me and Lileth (my college classmate) started to work in Broadcore Philippines, Inc. We were hired as a part-time Web Copywriter since both of us just want to have something "fruitful" to do before our graduation which happened last May 2010. 

After graduation, Sir Gab (our boss) asked us if we want to continue working with them and work as a full-time employee and after thinking about it, we both decided to continue working with the team. 

Time really passes that fast and here we are, celebrating our 1st year of working in Broadcore. Surrounded with the people who are really nice, we are both happy to be a part of the company. 

To our Broadcore Family who has been so nice since day one, thank you! hoping for more bonding moments with you! :)

And to us, Lilethgirl, I must say that we really are growing. From being college classmates, part-time employees and now to being full-time officemates who are now celebrating our 1st year. Walang katapusang pagbati! Happy Anniversary to us! haha! CHEERS TO THE BOTH OF US! Hoping for more blessings ahead of us! :)

FOR ALL THE LOVE, GUIDANCE AND SHOWER OF BLESSINGS, THANK YOU LORD!

this post's supposed to be posted last night, i just forgot to publish it. haha! :))

     

      xoxo