Goodbye, August. Hello, September!

BER months are already here. It's one day late but hey, it's not too late to welcome another season that is being awaited by almost everyone. Ber months means Christmas is drawing near and like me, I bet, we are all excited of it. But before I say hello to months that are just about to come, let me have the privilege to thank the month before it, which, I always consider the first month of the happiest season on earth, the month of August.

I am very much open that August is my favorite month since it is my birth month. My month has been a busy one and I must admit, I didn't had the chance to blog any of the happenings that I've been into during that month. Anyway, since this blog has been my witness on how thankful I am every year that God is giving me, I don't want to miss (even this late) chance to express how thankful I am for this another year (and of course, everyday). 

22. As of now, I really feel more matured. I guess, it's because I've already passed that stage when everyone thinks that they are not a kid anymore, the 21st year. This year, I am learning how to look on things differently, that I have to be a bit serious on some matters in my life, especially on my communication with our Father in heaven. 

THANKFUL. This is the only word that describes what my heart feels right now. If you'll ask me why, I guess, I cannot answer anymore. I don't know why. I just think that for someone to be able to say this word, one must really feel it inside him/her. Just like love, you can say that you love someone but if asked why, there's no right word to explain it. 

As always, I am grateful that God gave me another year in my life. My life is God's everyday gift to me, to us. This is the reason why I will forever be thankful that I am waking up everyday, receiving and giving love, expecting nothing and leaving everything to God. 

THANKFUL. I am very thankful that I know, from the deepest part of my heart, that I have a lot to be thankful for. From family, friends, down to all those who love me, you're all part of where I am today and why I am feeling this way. Above all, thankyou, Lord for the gift of life, THANKYOU, LORD! :)

I'm Monica. 22. Thankful.

xoxo

One Blessed Girl :)

June 13, 2012 -- Friday. And yes, Friday the 13th which was, according to some, brings bad luck. 

I was rushed to the hospital because of the pain I felt on the lower right side of my stomach thinking it was appendicitis. It was painful but I was more nervous about the diagnosis. I don't want to hear the doctors say that I have to undergo an operation.

Good thing, the doctors said that I have to undergo series of tests first for them to know what's behind the pain that I was feeling. They  told me that it may take a while for us to know the real reason because I am a female and it may also be on my reproductive side and I believe them. Anyway, they know better than me.

Medications. Injections. Expectations. For three days, that became my routine during my stay in the hospital. The pain slowly subside and I am really praying hard that I don't have to undergo an operation. Doctors are checking me regularly and explaining what was happening. Appendicitis was still their diagnosis but some things must be cleared out.

Monday morning, my OB-Gyne doctor told me that everything is clear on their side. I have no problem with the tests I have undergone regarding my reproductive system. On the other side, I have to wait for the surgery part of my tests. 

Afternoon came the Surgeon and told me that I really have an Appendicitis but luckily, no surgery is needed. Urinary Track Infection (UTI) caused my appendicitis that's why it is swelling. Fortunately, medicine can still cure it and I can go home and rest.

I am really blessed that I have surpassed another trial in my life. I am more blessed that I don't have to deal with it alone. During the time that I was in the hospital, I felt how loved I am by everyone. From my family, friends, officemates and other acquaintances, I know that I have people whom I can count on to; people who prayed for me and wished for my healing. 

June 13, 2012 -- Friday. Friday the 13th which was, a day of blessing for me; the day that made me realize how blessed I am to have people around whom I can count on through thick and thin. 

One blessed girl here:

It's been 6 months

It's been months since I've posted something 'from me.' I know, this blog site has been my outlet for the past year, this is where I share my sadness and happiness, and this is where I open who the real 'ME' is. 

Flashback October 2010 when I started to write it all again. I promised myself not to stop writing and blogging because it is where I feel so free. I can write whatever I want and do any blog posts that I can because I own the blog site. I can shout all my sadness and happiness just by writing what's inside my heart. Yes, 'WHAT'S INSIDE MY HEART.' 

Fast forward to second week of May 2011 when my heart was really down. This blog became my outlet. I put all the pain into words to help me (at least). And yes, it did... for a while.

A bit jump to last week of May 2011 when another painful (most painful of all as of the moment) thing happened in my life. I don't know what to do. During that time, I don't know how to put all the pain in words. I promised myself that I will not stop writing because it is an effective way to lessen the pain (next to talking with those people who can understand you) but during that time, I can't. I really don't know where and how to start. I really don't know how. Even talking to anyone became none of my choices. And yes, I faced it all ALONE.

Facing things alone is not so me. It is not me who doesn't share my thoughts. It is not me who wants to cry alone. It is not me who wants to hide my true feelings from my loved ones. Yes, I do hide some things at times when I know I can manage. But during that time, I know I can't bear it all but I HAVE TO.

I have to hide all the pain from everyone because I have a decision to make. It is always good to ask for others opinion but in that case, I don't want to ask anything from anyone. I want the answer to my questions be answered by me, without any judge but myself I don't want any person to support nor rebutt my decision. I want to reflect and this time, make my own decision. It was one of the hardest point in my life and I HAVE TO BE STRONG.

I have to be strong not for myself but for the people around me. I must admit, I don't want to be anybody's burden so I told myself that I can make it. Anyway, I have God who is always with me so I am still not alone. 

What's making all things harder is that I am jobless during that phase of my life. Meaning, I have all the time to cry and feel bad. And I guess it wasn't good so I then planned to find a job. I have to be busy for me not to think of sad thoughts. I know it will be hard to work while on that stage but I have to because I don't want to cry the whole day. Luckily, I found one and that helped me.

Slowly, I felt that the wounds are being healed. Slowly, I have answered those questions in my mind. Slowly, I have made my decision which cannot be broken by anyone. Slowly, i opened up with my friends and loved ones. Slowly, I feel free again.

Fast forward today. I am writing and doing this blog because I think I am (though not totally) ready to share what's in 'me' now. I cannot tell all in a detailed manner because there are some things that are already healed and must not be opened again, but this may be a good start. 

It's been 6 months and I guess I have made the right decision. As what I am always saying, HAPPINESS IS OUR CHOICE. What happened was not my choice but it's my choice on how am I going to face it. It is always up to us on how we will react when hard times happen.

For me, I decided to close the door, reflect, and forgive first before making any decision. People may not understand me for choosing to be with myself during those times but real friends will not ask any question and will just support me (and they did). I choose to cry not to be drowned in sadness but to let the pain out and I succeed. Now, I can feel the freedom that I want. 

It's been 6 months, almost, I guess, and now I am ready to choose happiness over sadness. Now I am ready to share 'myself' again. 

To my friends, family, and to the people who never judged me and my decision, 

A BIG THANK YOU! 

Life, thank you for all the lessons. Keep it coming for me to learn more. 

Lord, thank You because You let me understand how right it is to hold on to You more during the hard times.

Love, I will continue to share you with others and will never get tired of doing it.

      xoxo

The NYM Officers’ Oath Taking Ceremony

SEPTEMBER 18, 2010

It is always nice to serve the community.

I was just an appointed Assistant Secretary in this group of youth leaders who have the vision of helping in the community where we stay. Let me give you a brief background about this group.

Nilo Youth Movement (NYM San Isidro Chapter is where we belong) is a group of youth leaders from Antipolo City. There are chosen officers and members in each place in the barangay to prepare different activities and programs that can help improve their community. Some of those programs include feeding for children, different sports activities and some contests to raise funds for different projects for the community.

I am glad to be part of this group. Aside from gaining more friends, I am given the chance to serve our community in my little ways despite my busy schedule.

And this night’s the oath taking of the newly-elected officers (and I’m one of those who will promise to serve as much as I can).

The oath-taking proper

Me and Christel (over-all treasurer) after the oath-taking

Other members and officers

I am looking forward for more projects with these people.

“The body has to be utilized for service to others. More bliss can be got from serving others than from merely serving oneself.”

Let me say this on my 20th year :)

AUGUST 18, 2010

One year. One month. One week. One day. One hour. One minute. One second. Time just really passes by and we'll just realize that it's been miles away from where we were before. Old pictures will make us smile seeing how we look a year ago. Old memories will make us think how we grow as we face life.

Our life really depends on how we will look at it. Think that it's such a lonely life and you will forever suffer. Think that life is a blessing and we will forever be thankful. This is how I want to think about my life, A TRUE BLESSING.

It's been 20 years that I've been living and I must say, I am really lucky to have gone this far. 20 years isn't bad and if my life will be taken from me now, I'll be ready because I think, even though I still have dreams that I want to reach, everything that is happening in my life is more than enough. And if those dreams will come true, I will love my life more (but that doesn't mean that I will love my life lesser if those won't come true).

This year's such a blast. So many things happened and I just want to thank those people who are making my life be at its best.

My friends, let me thank you for those times that you were there when I needed you. Thank you for all the happiness that we are sharing everytime we are together and for listening everytime I feel down. Those memories captured by my camera and remembered by my mind will always be treasured by me.

My mentors (elememtary, high school, college, trainings), you all did a very big part on my life. Thank you for all the knowledge that you have shared me. Also for the inspiration that you have given me which I am using now, thank you.

To my Broadcore family, you guys are the newest part of my life and I am so thankful on how you have accepted and treated me. I am hoping to have more memories with you as we get along. More foods, more celebration, more fun!

To my dear boyfriend, thank you for making my August 18 an extra special day. Thank you for attending mass at Baclaran Church and for eating with me until we were both full (literally. haha!) Thank you for being with me on my special days and just every time I need you. I don't want to be so cheesy but let me just inform you that I love you.

To my family, I can never compare you to anybody in this world. My life is nothing without you. To my cousins, aunts and uncles, thank you for all the support. And to my mama, papa and Paolo, thank you for the unconditional love that you are giving me. No words can express my love for all of you, I just thank God that I belong to this family.

And to my Father above, saying thank you will never be enough to express how happy I am and how thankful I am with the life that You gave me. With all these people who loved me, I really can’t ask for more. Thank you for all the guidance and of course, for the gift of life.

I may not have any big celebration this year because my brother was operated in his appendix. But knowing that my brother’s fine now after his operation is the best gift I have received for this year. THANK YOU LORD FOR THAT GIFT!

It may be too long to read but I guess, it is not enough to let you all know how thankful I am for having you in my life. As what I always say, “Happiness is our choice” and I choose to be one. With people like you in my life, who would not choose to be happy? Being where I am now is truly a blessing.

I really can’t explain my happiness now that I am on my 20th year. They say, I have to be more mature and responsible when I reach this age. But more than being mature and responsible, I choose to be more thankful and happier.