February 12 was Razelle's last day with us. Friends, relatives and other people who wants to be part of her last day on earth gathered. I saw the sadness in everybody's eyes as we went to the church for a mass. Almost everyone cried as the priest said that we can look at her for the last time on her last day. Tears fell. Sadness filled the church. Though the priest told in his homily that we all must be happy now that Razelle will be with God and all the suffering will never be felt by her, still, the thought of losing her is the thing that makes it hard for her family to let go.
Razelle's very dear to us, her friends, and it's really heartbreaking. What more does her family feels? I know the feeling of losing a family member that's why I understand how sad they were. But we can do nothing. We have to let her rest in peace, let go and let God take her in His arms.
And so, we sent her to her body's last destination, to the place where her body will stay. Things flashed back as we watched her tomb being arranged for her. Again, we shed tears but this time, it's more of tears that said "go and rest" than "i wish you're still with us." We have to let her be free and go without hesitation. Even if it's sad. Even if we know that she'll be gone forever.
I don't know what will be the next step her family will do after this day but one thing is for sure, her smiles will all be missed. Losing someone, especially a loved one, is really hard. It's not like break-up where you have the chance to see each other again or be with each other's arms again if you both realized that you still love one another. With death, it's more painful and I can't explain how hard it is to move forward again. And what's more sad is that, there is no single chance that you will see each other again (or maybe, if life after death is true, then that is the only time you could meet again).
What happened to Razelle gave me a lot of realizations in life. It taught me that life can be gone in just a blink of an eye. So before it happens, let's make sure that we've done things that we want to. Cherish every single second and gave meaning to it. Let's make our life a meaningful one. Love those people around us. Let's be free and give our best in everything that we do. Let's always say to ourselves that "Life is too short." Touch other people's lives and most of all, BE HAPPY.
Razelle, we will miss you, that's for sure. Goodbye for now. Go and rest in peace. Now that you're with God, may you guide us, especially your family. We love you!
xoxo
P.S.
And when I die, let my coffin be white or light blue. Let me wear a light blue dress and simple make-up. I want to have my photos in a gallery and an AVP of my memories that is continuously playing next to my coffin. I also want a continuous playing of songs and some singing sessions from my friends and loved ones on my wake. I want everyone to treat me as if I am just sleeping. I don't want to be cremated..And as you send me on my tomb, I want everyone to wear blue also. I want a simple program where people who wants to say goodbye to me express their feelings through words and for those who want to keep their message between the two of us, let there be blue balloons with brief notes from them fly in the sky to send their message for me. I know I can't stop you from crying but I want everyone to be happy for me for I will be with our Father where I will live eternally, happily and peacefully. :)
Whoever has the chance to read this, please take note of this and let my family know about this if I'll die. Of course, I don't want it to be soon but if it's God's will, I must obey. xoxo
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