Goodbye, August. Hello, September!

BER months are already here. It's one day late but hey, it's not too late to welcome another season that is being awaited by almost everyone. Ber months means Christmas is drawing near and like me, I bet, we are all excited of it. But before I say hello to months that are just about to come, let me have the privilege to thank the month before it, which, I always consider the first month of the happiest season on earth, the month of August.

I am very much open that August is my favorite month since it is my birth month. My month has been a busy one and I must admit, I didn't had the chance to blog any of the happenings that I've been into during that month. Anyway, since this blog has been my witness on how thankful I am every year that God is giving me, I don't want to miss (even this late) chance to express how thankful I am for this another year (and of course, everyday). 

22. As of now, I really feel more matured. I guess, it's because I've already passed that stage when everyone thinks that they are not a kid anymore, the 21st year. This year, I am learning how to look on things differently, that I have to be a bit serious on some matters in my life, especially on my communication with our Father in heaven. 

THANKFUL. This is the only word that describes what my heart feels right now. If you'll ask me why, I guess, I cannot answer anymore. I don't know why. I just think that for someone to be able to say this word, one must really feel it inside him/her. Just like love, you can say that you love someone but if asked why, there's no right word to explain it. 

As always, I am grateful that God gave me another year in my life. My life is God's everyday gift to me, to us. This is the reason why I will forever be thankful that I am waking up everyday, receiving and giving love, expecting nothing and leaving everything to God. 

THANKFUL. I am very thankful that I know, from the deepest part of my heart, that I have a lot to be thankful for. From family, friends, down to all those who love me, you're all part of where I am today and why I am feeling this way. Above all, thankyou, Lord for the gift of life, THANKYOU, LORD! :)

I'm Monica. 22. Thankful.

xoxo

One Blessed Girl :)

June 13, 2012 -- Friday. And yes, Friday the 13th which was, according to some, brings bad luck. 

I was rushed to the hospital because of the pain I felt on the lower right side of my stomach thinking it was appendicitis. It was painful but I was more nervous about the diagnosis. I don't want to hear the doctors say that I have to undergo an operation.

Good thing, the doctors said that I have to undergo series of tests first for them to know what's behind the pain that I was feeling. They  told me that it may take a while for us to know the real reason because I am a female and it may also be on my reproductive side and I believe them. Anyway, they know better than me.

Medications. Injections. Expectations. For three days, that became my routine during my stay in the hospital. The pain slowly subside and I am really praying hard that I don't have to undergo an operation. Doctors are checking me regularly and explaining what was happening. Appendicitis was still their diagnosis but some things must be cleared out.

Monday morning, my OB-Gyne doctor told me that everything is clear on their side. I have no problem with the tests I have undergone regarding my reproductive system. On the other side, I have to wait for the surgery part of my tests. 

Afternoon came the Surgeon and told me that I really have an Appendicitis but luckily, no surgery is needed. Urinary Track Infection (UTI) caused my appendicitis that's why it is swelling. Fortunately, medicine can still cure it and I can go home and rest.

I am really blessed that I have surpassed another trial in my life. I am more blessed that I don't have to deal with it alone. During the time that I was in the hospital, I felt how loved I am by everyone. From my family, friends, officemates and other acquaintances, I know that I have people whom I can count on to; people who prayed for me and wished for my healing. 

June 13, 2012 -- Friday. Friday the 13th which was, a day of blessing for me; the day that made me realize how blessed I am to have people around whom I can count on through thick and thin. 

One blessed girl here:

It's more fun in the Philippines EVERY SUMMER SEASON

Summer is the season that is most awaited by every Filipino (and I guess, in every part of the world).Swimming, out-of-town trips, and other recreational activities with family and friends are best done during this season. 

Since I enjoyed my summer this year, let me share why summer is more fun in the Philippines for me.

#1 OUTING WITH FAMILY

It is every Holy Week when me and my mom and brother are given the chance to go out for some recreational activities since it is the longest time of the year that all of us are free from school and work. We usually stay at home, watch movie or go somewhere to relax but this time, we decided to go for a day outing in a nearby resort, Ciudad Christia, San Mateo, Rizal. This outing made my whole summer season. I don't care if I will be having another outing or not, I am very much satisfied with that bonding with my family. 

Indeed, It's more fun in the Philippines WITH YOUR FAMILY.

#2 FIRST TIME IN BAGUIO

Yes, say I'm a loser but this year is great because I've done another first in my life: To go to Baguio. Yes, it's my first time and I am proud of it. HAHA! I know that each of us has a dream of travelling the whole world if given the chance but I would like to travel Philippines first. Luckily, this will be the start of my dream. I had a lot of fun in Baguio with friends. We grabbed every chance we had during our stay. I love the cold breeze and the beautiful scenery of every place we visited. An escape to the heat of city made me love Baguio. Another dream also came true, I had a chance to pick strawberries with my own hands! :)

Definitely, It's more fun in the Philippines IF YOU VISIT BAGUIO CITY.

#3 ANG TIPULO FESTIVAL

Antipoleños are always looking forward to this festival. The colorful SUMAKAH (Suman, Kasoy, Hamaka) Festival always gives life to the city. With the colorful costumes and lively performances of each participant from different parts of the city, one will surely love to witness it. I am very grateful that I have given the chance to be part of this significant event of the city. Being an employee in the City Government of Antipolo, we are also part of the program which usually starts with a parade. 

Of course, CELEBRATING ANG TIPULO FESTIVAL is more fun in the Philippines.

It is almost rainy season and I will miss the heat of summer.  Hopefully, my post-summer activities will be pushed through so that I can share it in this blog. 

I won't say goodbye to summer. Instead, I'll say: Seeyou next year, summer! Please be a lot more fun, okay? 

Summer is fun but every season will always be more fun and worthwhile if you spend it with love and happiness :)

      xoxo

2011: A Look Back

Before this year ends, I would like to recall on ever significant thing that happened in my life. God's gift of life has been a roller coaster ride for me. From happiness down to sadness and now, to happiness again.

The following are the highlights of my 2011:

JANUARY

• Celebrated New Year with my family - I thank God for every new year that He is giving me and my family. Whenever this day comes, I feel like there will be another life, another beginning, another challenges and another things that will come to be thankful for (both trials and blessings). I am so glad that I always have the chance to celebrate it with my family. And so, THANKYOU, LORD!

FEBRUARY

• Bid goodbye to Razelle - This month has been a though month for me and my high school friends. We lose one good friend. We were all shocked but we have nothing to do but hand it all to God who knows everything. It was hard to let go yet we all just thought that we have to be happy because she's now with our Father in heaven.

MARCH

• Celebrated my first year in Broadcore - Last year has been good for me because I was hired at work as a Web Copywriter though I am still not holding my college degree. This year, I am so blessed that I have celebrated my first year in Broadcore (together with Lileth). I am not with Broadcore now but still, I am very grateful that I have worked with them for a year and a month.

APRIL

• Paolo's Graduation - My brother's achievement is mine's achievement too! This is why I am very proud when Paolo graduated in high school. As a bonus, I was invited to be their guest speaker. I am just so happy (though a bit nervous) to inspire all the graduates with the words that I've prepared for them. With that, I felt like I am also giving my brother pieces of advice that he can use in the next stages of his life.

 

• Left Broadcore - It was just March when I celebrated my first year in Broadcore but after a month, I bid goodbye because of some matters. But I didn't felt so bad because I know that each people that I've met will always be a part of my life. Thankyou, Broadcore!

MAY

• Bid goodbye to him - It has been so hard but I now know why all these things happened. I emotionally and physically said goodbye to someone who's been with me for quite sometime but I know that it was the right thing to do. I thought of it a million times and I thank God that He helped me with thatdecision. 
• Celebrated mother's day - Mom will always be the most important person in my life next to God. I love her so much that I can give up everything for her. Every Mother's Day, me and my brother are making sure that she will feel special. I've made a special AVP for her.

JUNE

• Met my loves at Calvento Files - I met them and worked with them for just a week but it felt like I've known them for so long. I feel so comfortable with them and they made me feel they were my true sisters. I love them so and that will never change. 

• Mom's 46th Birthday - Mom's another year is always another thing to be thankful for to God. May God bless her with more years so that I will also have the more chances to make her feel how much I love her. 

• Celebrated Father's Day - We may not be able to live with Papa but we always make sure to also make him feel special during Father's Day. Not living with Papa doesn't mean we love him less. Pao and I love him as much as how me love Mama.

• Got new job - After a month of vacation and after leaving DWIZ, I got another job at the City Government of Antipolo. I thank God for another job and for another family who treated and is treating me as their family. Thankyou, Lord for my new family!

JULY

• Being so busy with my new job, I didn't had the chance to blog anything during this month but this month is Papa's month because it's his month. He celebrated his birthday. I love him so much though we're miles away!

AUGUST

• My 21st Birthday - Binata na ko! Haha! I am so glad to celebrate it with my family and friends. I felt so blessed to have gone this far in my life. I've got material gifts but the best gift that I've received was having another life to live for. THANKYOU, LORD for all the blessings that you are giving me!

SEPTEMBER

• Mama Mary's Birthday - Nothing so important have happened to me on this month but our Mother celebrated her birthday. Happy Birthday to the greatest mother of all!

OCTOBER

• Bid Farewell to Itchan - If February has been a tough month for me and my high school friends, this month has been a tough month for me and my college friends. We lose a very dear friend. But like Razelle, I lift everything to God. I will miss Itchan but in my heart, he will remain alive.

NOVEMBER

• Felt free at last - After 6 months, I felt so free, totally . I've been having a hard time during the past months but this month has been so good that I want to thank God because He made me feel that I will end this month with a big smile on my face :)

DECEMBER

• Celebrated Christmas with the City Government of Antipolo - It was my first time to celebrate Christmas with my new family. I've had a lot of fun. Simple parties were done because we can't afford to have an extravagant celebration because of what happened in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan. Happy to have them in my life :)

• Celebrated Christmas with Mom and Pao - It is always important for me to celebrate Christmas with my family. I always make sure that I will spend this day with them. 25th of December - we attended mass first then went to SM Masinag to have a simple celebration. We ate, shopped, and watched fireworks together. Oh I love to have simple celebration with them! Simple yet so meaningful. 

 

 

Today is the 30th of December and tomorrow's New Year's Eve. I am so excited to welcome another year with my arms wide open. I will welcome everything that God will give me, whether blessing or trial.

For being a good girl, I've got the following:

some gifts that I've received :)

And as I am always saying, the best thing to end the year is by saying THANKYOU! 

THANKYOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS THAT HAPPENED INTO MY LIFE!

P.S.

2012, I will be looking forward to rub elbows with you. I know that you will be a good year for me :)

        xoxo

It's been 6 months

It's been months since I've posted something 'from me.' I know, this blog site has been my outlet for the past year, this is where I share my sadness and happiness, and this is where I open who the real 'ME' is. 

Flashback October 2010 when I started to write it all again. I promised myself not to stop writing and blogging because it is where I feel so free. I can write whatever I want and do any blog posts that I can because I own the blog site. I can shout all my sadness and happiness just by writing what's inside my heart. Yes, 'WHAT'S INSIDE MY HEART.' 

Fast forward to second week of May 2011 when my heart was really down. This blog became my outlet. I put all the pain into words to help me (at least). And yes, it did... for a while.

A bit jump to last week of May 2011 when another painful (most painful of all as of the moment) thing happened in my life. I don't know what to do. During that time, I don't know how to put all the pain in words. I promised myself that I will not stop writing because it is an effective way to lessen the pain (next to talking with those people who can understand you) but during that time, I can't. I really don't know where and how to start. I really don't know how. Even talking to anyone became none of my choices. And yes, I faced it all ALONE.

Facing things alone is not so me. It is not me who doesn't share my thoughts. It is not me who wants to cry alone. It is not me who wants to hide my true feelings from my loved ones. Yes, I do hide some things at times when I know I can manage. But during that time, I know I can't bear it all but I HAVE TO.

I have to hide all the pain from everyone because I have a decision to make. It is always good to ask for others opinion but in that case, I don't want to ask anything from anyone. I want the answer to my questions be answered by me, without any judge but myself I don't want any person to support nor rebutt my decision. I want to reflect and this time, make my own decision. It was one of the hardest point in my life and I HAVE TO BE STRONG.

I have to be strong not for myself but for the people around me. I must admit, I don't want to be anybody's burden so I told myself that I can make it. Anyway, I have God who is always with me so I am still not alone. 

What's making all things harder is that I am jobless during that phase of my life. Meaning, I have all the time to cry and feel bad. And I guess it wasn't good so I then planned to find a job. I have to be busy for me not to think of sad thoughts. I know it will be hard to work while on that stage but I have to because I don't want to cry the whole day. Luckily, I found one and that helped me.

Slowly, I felt that the wounds are being healed. Slowly, I have answered those questions in my mind. Slowly, I have made my decision which cannot be broken by anyone. Slowly, i opened up with my friends and loved ones. Slowly, I feel free again.

Fast forward today. I am writing and doing this blog because I think I am (though not totally) ready to share what's in 'me' now. I cannot tell all in a detailed manner because there are some things that are already healed and must not be opened again, but this may be a good start. 

It's been 6 months and I guess I have made the right decision. As what I am always saying, HAPPINESS IS OUR CHOICE. What happened was not my choice but it's my choice on how am I going to face it. It is always up to us on how we will react when hard times happen.

For me, I decided to close the door, reflect, and forgive first before making any decision. People may not understand me for choosing to be with myself during those times but real friends will not ask any question and will just support me (and they did). I choose to cry not to be drowned in sadness but to let the pain out and I succeed. Now, I can feel the freedom that I want. 

It's been 6 months, almost, I guess, and now I am ready to choose happiness over sadness. Now I am ready to share 'myself' again. 

To my friends, family, and to the people who never judged me and my decision, 

A BIG THANK YOU! 

Life, thank you for all the lessons. Keep it coming for me to learn more. 

Lord, thank You because You let me understand how right it is to hold on to You more during the hard times.

Love, I will continue to share you with others and will never get tired of doing it.

      xoxo

During my recovery stage...

Being left by someone you really love is something that is really painful. Every second seems to be like hours and each day feels like years. Yes, again and again, I will say that the type of parting that we've had isn't something that is totally sad. Of course, I am happy that he already have started his career. It's just that I am not used to not being with him. 

But being far from each other doesn't mean being alone. There are people who helped and are still helping me in this phase of my life. Let me thank you for making me smile and being there during the times that I needed you the most.

LETH, AI, and GHE. I am just so lucky that again, we've had the chance to be with each other though we're on our different paths and careers. I know it's hard to find time but I thank you for never hesitating to come whenever each of us really needs someone to talk to. Let me remind you that I, too, will always be there whenever you need me. Many thanks also to my PORTU FAMILY!

LEX, SHA, ANA and IKEY. Though this day wasn't for me since it was Ana's birthday and we went to hospital to see how Ikey (who brought herself alone in the hospital and who is okay now) was, I still thank you for helping me have something to be busy with during this day. Ana, thanks for your family and delicious carbonara. Thank you pink girls!

ATE APRIL and ATE JESS. Both of you stand as my true sisters and I appreciate it whenever you are making me feel that you are just a chat away. Many thanks for those kind words that truly helped me. I am blessed to have known you two. Many thanks also to my Broadcore friends!

PARTY PIPS. Leth+Henryboi, Jak, Kuya Marck, Carl, and Mer, many thanks for just being there(though not pgysically) during my "emo" days. Your words of wisdom and cheer made me feel that I really have to be strong. Many thanks also for making me feel that I can make it. :)

IKEY and MY. For the movie date, thank you. I appreciate you effort in helping me get through those boring days at home. I love how you want me to cry with you during the film and for just listening to my stories. Thank you for always being each time my heart's in trouble. To my Porwan family, thanks also!

special thanks also to Orlando for the pictures!

MHE and MER. I salute you for making it with your long distance relationship (part 1). Thank you for those words of encouragement which are all based on your experiences. Mer, your words are always great. Thanks for that message that you've sent me. I'm always reading it whenever I feel like giving up. Mhe, for checking how am I almost everyday, thank you. Hope to see you soon! 

KATH and DANIEL. You two are gifts of heaven to me. Thanks for always checking how I am. For you jokes and cheers, thank you! Though you are both younger than me, I know I can lean on you whenever I need someone to talk to. Chat? haha!

TITA DAISY and TITO DAN + DANIEL and KUYA DARWIN. I don't know if they will have the chance to read this one but I want them to know how thankful I am that they are also there to cheer me up. They are always making me feel that I have them as my family and that they are and will still be there even though Den is far from me. Thanks to them for being kind and making me feel like I am really part of their family. 

AND OF COURSE, TO MY FAMILY. At the end of the day, it is always them who comfort me during my "down days." I am always thankful that I have a family that I can lead on. To my brother, who made me feel that he cares though not that outspoken, thank you. To my mom who gave and are still giving me words that are making me feel that everything will be okay and to my papa who have just called a while ago to cheer me up and said that though he is far, I can always lean on him, THANK YOU BIG TIME!

It is hard. Maybe not all people will understand but it really is a hard thing. But with all the people behind me, I know I can do it, I can make it. God is with me and I know that He is guiding both of us. Above all, I THANK GOD for making me understand things slowly. Thank you for giving me these people who truly love me and who helped me during my recovery stage.

From the bottom part of my heart, THANK YOU!


‎"Sometimes, you have to allow yourself to be weak in order to grow stronger."
--Eleanor, GOSSIP GIRL

     xoxo